


Holly, Afterwards

by Havendance



Category: Protean City Comics (Podcast)
Genre: And also for issue 94 and after, Gen, Introspection, Spoilers for Volume 27, and a cameo by crosswind, featuring:, memories and other flashbacks, minor heroics, soul searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23464273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Havendance/pseuds/Havendance
Summary: In which the Holly formerly known as Striped Eagle Clone #58 tries to figure out just who she really is.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Holly, Afterwards

She used to be Striped Eagle Clone #58. Now, she doesn’t know who she is. John says she’s Prime, that her name is Holly, but Prime’s dead and the name is like a pair of shoes that are just a little too big. It shakes and wiggles and doesn’t ever quite fit. Her memories are a jumbled mess and as she’s in cryo-sleep, they are her dreams.

_ She’s a little girl playing with her older sister’s action figures. There’s Centurion, Xenoastra, and Lunar Lens but her favorite one’s Striped Eagle. She’s the first, the best. She tells her parents that she’s going to be a superhero when she grows up and they smile because everyone says that when they’re a kid. _

She wakes up with Dr. Amari standing above her. She’s lying in a tank, half-covered with a thick, sticky fluid. The whole thing brings back unpleasant memories. She sits up and looks around but John isn’t anywhere. Dr. Amari explains with a smile that the trickster’s been defeated, that it’s safe for her to come out now, and that John was sorry but that he wasn’t able to make it. 

She nods along to Dr. Amari’s words, still confused, a little annoyed and disappointed that John couldn’t be bothered to make it. Dr. Amari sends her on her way with a shower, a clean set of clothes, and Lunar Lens’ number to call if she needs help. She shoves it in her pocket. She isn’t ready to face anyone who knew the other her just yet.

_ The first memory she has that’s truly her own is of waking up in a different kind of tank. She remembers fluid draining away and breathing the first breath of air into her lungs, amazed at how light it felt. _

Being purposeless is a new experience. She was created to be a soldier. To fight a war. The other Holly remembered being aimless but never for long. She was an achiever, always trying to be the best, always reaching for the next goal. That’s how she caught FALCON’s attention in the first place. How she became a superhero. 

Right now, she doesn’t want to be a hero; she doesn’t want to be seen. She just wants a place to hide while she figures everything out. The other Holly hadn’t been able to keep much a secret from FALCON, but there is a safe house she remembers that they never found. It’s nothing fancy, an apartment in the Bash, but it’s a roof over her head and there’s a FALCON credit card stashed away that was never deactivated.

_ She has nightmares about dying, filled with jumbled memories. She’s lying on the ground, terrified as her suit is failing. She’s flying on patrol towards Prime’s location and can feel in her gut that something’s wrong. The suit’s burning her skin and she’s losing consciousness as Socatoa tries desperately to save her. She reaches the square just in time to see an explosion destroy the square and Prime with it. Something hits her in the back of her head, knocking her out. _

_ She usually wakes up at that point, sweating and terrified, but sometimes she keeps sleeping. The part that comes next is somehow the scariest of all. Everything is black and for some reason Puck is there, trying to do something, say something maybe? She can’t tell. Something else shows up and for a second it feels like something’s breathing down the back of her neck. She’s like a piece of prey, a hare paralyzed in the claws of a hawk. It’s feeling that lasts forever and she always wakes up gasping for air. _

She doesn’t get as much sleep as she used to, not that she got a whole lot to start with. Some nights she wanders the streets, stopping petty criminals with the skills FALCON gave her. She doesn’t know who she is, but she does know how to fight. Other nights, she just sits and stares out the window, trying to sort out her fickle memories. 

Across the street, a man in black leather jumps out the window of an apartment just as run-down as hers is. A hero in a city full of them. She knows how to be a hero, but does she really need to be one? Does she really want to be one? Does the city want her, a product of FALCON’s machinations? She doesn’t know who to be anymore.

_ She wakes up confused in an old run-down room, crystal fairies are skittering across the floor. John offers her a can of room-temperature corn Fanta and won’t meet her eye as he tells her that she died but she didn’t and that she’s Holly Prime but she’s not, and that she can’t leave this place because of something that chasing him, them, her. She doesn’t know, doesn’t understand and her memories are strangers.  _

_ It’s almost a relief when Dr. Amari suggests that she go into cryosleep until the trickster problem’s been taken care of, one way or another. It means she doesn’t have to confront the traitorous memories in her head. She doesn’t have to figure out who she really is. She doesn’t have to think. _

She’s in the crowd when Centurian is officially kicked out of the old guard. She watches as they walk away and she knows that it isn’t right. The other Holly fought by Centurian’s side. They’re a real hero. They can’t just be kicked out so flippantly.

She isn’t quite sure who she is, but there’s a spark that lit something in her that there wasn’t there before. She can’t just stand by as this happens. Maybe it’s time for her to spread her wings again, to be a hero. There’s a way to contact Centurian buried away in the other Holly’s memories - a number - so she breaths in, breaths out, and makes a call.

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I love Puck as much as the next person but I think he really messed up with the Holly clone. She deserves better than to serve as a replacement for a dead girl even if they do share some memories and DNA.


End file.
